It’s a love/hate relationship.
Frankly I’m not sure I love it, and frankly I’m not sure I hate it.
So on our 4/5th week of school I want to blog about these days, so I can reflect in a few years and then make a decision. Plus I am a “list-er” so I may need to see on paper how off kilter this list is…or isn’t.
I love spending some “quality” time with my boys. I am trying to get some structure going here, but so far it hasn’t quite worked itself out yet. It’s hard trying to balance three boys on different books and different levels, with an occasional question or more like interruption from my high schooler. Then you throw in the girls running away from Mrs. Judah (it’s become a game) right through the middle of our “school” room and of course the people coming to the door for various things at various times. Ms. Jane taking care of the house and well…you can see why it’s a little difficult to keep the attention of everyone. We are surviving though, and I enjoy (that could be a white lie) being the one to help them learn hopefully a few things! Hopefully.
I don’t like teaching. That’s a great line to follow up with, huh? It’s not my gift. I am a perfectionist, and I want it how I want it, when I want, and written exactly like the book. Yeah, that go with the flow and adjust to each kid thing doesn’t work to well for me. HOW IN THE WORLD DO YOU PEOPLE (and by people I mean teachers) SURVIVE WITH 18+ DIFFERENT CHITLINS??? YES, I know that was all CAPS. I meant for it to be. Although I guess, the positive is you are teaching the same thing to all those little chitlins. Anyway, my point is I would much rather be doing quality time with my kids playing a board game, or cards, or canoeing, or hiking, or watching a hysterical movie (I LOVE to hear my kids belly laugh) or clean the house, or travel, bake, cook, or basically anything besides sit at a table and feel responsible for the outcome of their lives. Their spouses lives. Their children’s future, my grandchildren for crying out loud…I can’t handle the pressure of their success or failure. Wait. Maybe I’m a little carried away. Point is, I have come to a semi-resolve with myself that God is doing far more in their hearts and minds that will last a lifetime than the Mayflower or any x-y=c problem I could throw at them. For such a time as this we will survive. Right???
I am grateful my kids are here learning (relative word) and focusing on some other things besides trying to “keep up” with their friends! I remember being in high school and the new pressures that brought with trying to be with the in crowd, but still trying to please my christian friends and family, and ultimately not disappoint Jesus too much either. Too bad, He wasn’t at the front of my thoughts. So, for that I am grateful that I’m not having to say “no” 24/7 to trashy movies, books, music, and clothes that they will wear a handful of times and decide its not what they wanted. They are seeing that most of the kids around us have worn the same clothing day in and day out LITERALLY for the whole entire year we’ve been here. Don’t get me wrong I love me some clothes and !!!SHOES!!!, but it’s a little more prioritized now in our minds.
I miss my kids having their friends (because frankly their parents were my friends too), and physical activities (soccer leagues, football, baseball, basketball, riding bikes and skateboards up and down the street with no helmets…we lived on the wild side), community groups, school events and in a nutshell socializing with real live bodies. If you know anything about our family it’s we love people! We love a crowd! We love hanging out! I miss them hanging out.
I pray that if my kids are ever in a school setting again, aren’t “behind.” I pray that if they are they will grab it by the horns and catch up or just keep going, but never give up!
I treasure the fact that school for us is based around Biblical thinking and principles. I have been given a chance to see my kids learn more about scriptures, memorize some of it, and apply it to situations we have been in over and over. I wouldn’t have gotten these moments if not for being here. I am also thankful I decided to go with a christian based curriculum. I had initially thought it wouldn’t really matter considering our lives are based around Jesus and we try to teach them Jesus in our every day lives, but I am SOOOO thankful God directed me in that decision. How or why did I think they could ever get enough of Him.
I wish I was more disciplined to study God’s word with them all even when they were in school before now, but to be candid it didn’t happen like I would’ve preferred it too. Oh sure, we prayed together and the occasional devotion, scripture on our walls, raised in church, and me using scripture to reinforce my “jumping down their throats,” but not like a given time everyday that they took something from the word and read it and applied it. This is something I want to apply from now on. I want them to feel free to come to me with questions, not that I will know all the answers, but you get my point. I want them to know I am praying for them and pushing them to make God real in their lives for themselves. I believe they are seeing what’s truly close to Jesus’ heart and how a lot of other silly things don’t matter too much.
I would never trade this time God has given us here for anything. I have said it a million times and I’ll say it again, “we all have new perspectives on life and love.” For now this is what God has put before us, “For such a time as this.”
Until next year, or I get the hankering to blog about school again, Keep Calm and Homeschool On!
I will leave you with this to ponder from A Holy Experience Blog:
Early sacrifice for later bounty.
Yes it’s the pruning of seemingly good leaves that can grow a better life. It takes courage to crop a life back-but it’s exactly the way to have the best crop of all. What seems like hard work that’s taking an eternity today-is exactly what may make the most difference in eternity.
Before Aprilish 2012